Past
by Phoenix147
Summary: Kai has a go at Max, and ends up turning on some music, remembering about his past.(Finished)rnR&RYaoi warning.
1. Hello

Title: Past.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or the song 'Hello'  
  
Authors note: This is possibly gonna be a one-shot, I might add a few more chapters but that's undecided. And this is a quick break from my other fics.

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**_Play ground, school bell rings...again. Rain clouds come to play...again._**  
  
Evanescence screams out of my stereo. I'm just sitting in my room, trying to calm myself. Just a moment ago I yelled at Max for constantly talking about his mother, Rei gave me a worried and concerned look as I stormed into our room. I'm sure he'll ask me about it later, at the moment he's trying to calm Max down, I didn't mean to make him cry, I just...  
  
Some of us don't have mothers...some of us keep quiet about it though, I can remember telling Rei that my mom and dad just moved away and wrote me letters every month, I even asked Tala to write me letters to lead Rei on, but I'm sure he doesn't believe me.  
  
But if he knew...maybe he wouldn't believe that either...  
  
**_Has, no one told you, she's not breathing?_**  
  
I hate those words...too many memories flood back whenever those words are sung.  
  
I can still see her, laying there, the thrashing movement finally having stopped, I just stood there, in her cold blood, unable to move, watching the man, or woman, run away laughing and holding my mothers locket. Throwing the gun towards where my shaking father knelt, crying. I remember him picking up the gun; the next thing I remember seeing was him falling onto the floor, with my mother.  
  
That's when I ran.  
  
What else can you do?  
  
Then...when my grandfather took me in...he gave me Dranzer...  
  
**_Hello...I'm your mind...giving you someone, to talk to...hello_**  
  
My only friend, apart from Tala, for most of the childhood. She always spoke to me; helping me...it did take some time, teaching her English, learning what she meant sometimes. It was a bit of a laugh, I must admit.  
  
But sometimes, me and Tala just had fights, which he'd end with, 'well at least I have parents'  
  
Then it would always turn into a fistfight, but before I could ever lay a hand on him, Grandfather would summon me to his 'office' and he'd tell me to calm down.  
  
Yes he may have tried to use me, but he was, a Grandfather, after all. He did care about my welfare, which is more than I can say for other guardians. Like Talas' for instance, they made him believe that they were his real parents and that perfection was the only way to be. Fucking retards.  
  
Then again, I can't talk...I always tried to be perfect, my Grandfather seemed to favor Tala over me...what else is a ten year old supposed to try and do?  
  
_If I smile, and don't, believe, soon I know, I'll wake, from this dream_  
  
Smile...pretend everything is ok...pretend you didn't see your mother shot down by a random criminal, who probably sold her locket for a cheap £100.  
  
Whenever I think of that I always clench my fists, that locket was the present my dad had bought her for their anniversary. Of course, I have to calm down, as I said, I've got to calm down about this.  
  
_**Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken**_  
  
Of course...after leaving Tala and that, I met Tyson, Rei and Max. Whom of which I could never live without now. They tried to make me care about life, which maybe they did, but how can you care about life when you see them all happy. Not upset about anything, so they really haven't changed me much, Rei might have made me less cold hearted, but I was never truly cold hearted to begin with.  
  
But I'm still thankful for them trying. It showed me how much they care about me.  
  
**_Hello, I'm the lie, living for you, so you can hide...don't cry._**  
  
Heh most people know me as a cold hearted ass hole, don't they? It's, as the lyrics say, a lie, living for me. But then again, only those who truly know me, have seen the real me, the me before I wake up and put on my triangles, my gloves, my scarf. The true Kai. Not the one that girls swoon over...at least I hope they don't swoon over me...  
  
Anyway...as for crying...why would I do that? I couldn't find the tears when my mother was shot and I haven't found them for her since, but Dranzer...when I lost her, I felt that I'd lost the only woman that I cared for.  
  
Both of them.  
  
But then again, it scares me how I cried for Dranzer but not for my own mother...  
  
S**_uddenly, I know I'm not sleeping._**  
  
When I'm here...alone, without Rei, or just with him talking, I step out of my lie, out of my dream, into reality. Back as Kai, the orphan, the adult who's made it here through teenage years with a team who don't know the truth. Back with Dranzer, my true friend. Back as myself, no lie, no mask.  
  
Maybe I'm calmed. More like I am. I slowly stand up, quickly peering into the mirror to see my reflection, a smile slightly, more of a smirk, but its close enough. I enter the living room, seeing them watching TV. I take a few moments to apologize, Max telling me it's ok, and that he shouldn't constantly go on about his mom all the time. But I don't hear him. My sights have turned to the TV screen; a familiar face is on the news.  
  
"Dad"  
  
**_Hello, I'm still here all that's left of yesterday._**

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Oh yes, the evil cliffe master is back!!! But it's up to you, the reviewer, whether this stays a oneshot, or continues. Vote now by reviewing me!

Phoenix147


	2. Crawling

Title: Past.  
  
Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I do not own the song Crawling or any Linkin park members...and I don't own Beyblade either, but I will someday!!!!  
  
Kai: shut up  
Chester: Yes shut up and get on with it!  
  
Fine!  
  
A/n: Ya know, since I haven't had reviews for donkeys years I'm gonna continue with the fic...oh and Raven big hugs I was glad to get a review from you...again

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"Dad?" these were the only words that I could say, my mouth felt more dried up than anything else. The man I thought was dead...is on the fucking news!  
  
He's a live! He's been alive all this time...  
  
Why hasn't he contacted me? Why hasn't he even sent a damn letter? How the hell is he still alive!?  
  
He should be dead! He is dead...I must be dreaming...  
  
_**Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will, not heal, fear is how I fall, confusing what is real**_  
  
It must just be a look-alike...my dad is dead, that bastard has no right looking like him. It's an imposter! I saw my dad die when I was four, no one has the right to have the same colour hair as my dad, or the same facial structure, or the same goddamn eyes.  
  
I know the others are staring at me, Tyson keeps asking me who that man is, why can't I answer? Why can't I just tell him to turn it over!? Why can't I tell Max to quit asking me if it's ok? I just want to turn to the blonde kid and tell him to fuck off, but my throat remains sealed up. I look to the side of me and see Rei touching my arm, looking at me with his beautiful golden eyes, that's when my throat unseals, only at that point. "I'm ok Rei...really" I have to lie, if I tell him the truth...he'll only worry.  
  
**_There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, , this lack of self-control I fear is never ending, controlling/I can't seem..._**  
  
I can't seem to allow Rei any moment of misery, or any emotion other than happy, that's how he should be, happy with a smile on his face. I slowly turn my attention back to the man of TV, talking to people about something he'd done, I can't be bothered to listen to his words, there's no point, this man isn't my dad...so why am I still here fucking watching the damn TV!?  
  
I'm not related to this bastard, if my dad was alive, he's have contacted me, but nope, this guy can't be my dad, my dad shot himself in the head when I was a bloody kid! So he is dead, therefore, this guy, this big headed guy can't be my dad.  
  
So I can just turn away and go into my room, come on feet, work!  
  
There, I'm walking towards the kitchen, leaving the worried faces of my teammates once more, but this time, Rei follows me.  
  
"Kai?" his voice trying to hide his concern as I pour myself a glass of cola.  
"What?" I ask, swallowing my harsh tone, along with my cold drink.  
"Is that man your father?" he asks, then I don't know what happened, I slammed the glass on the kitchen counter, it smashing in my hands, "HE'S NOT MY DAD! MY DAD COMITTED FUCKING SUCICDE WHEN I WAS FOR SO NO THAT MAN IS OF NO REALATION TO ME!"  
  
Insecurity taking over me as I scream those words at Rei, seeing his eyes widen at my tone.  
  
_**To find myself again, my walls are closing in, without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take, I've felt this way before, so insecure**_  
  
I haven't felt so unsure of what I was saying for a long time, what if this person...really is my father...that would mean that he hasn't tried to contact me in all of the years I was growing up.  
  
NO! My dad would've tried to keep in touch, he wouldn't have lost both his wife and his son...no father would want that. NO, I've got to keep sure. Fucking hell this is driving me insane, Rei's backed away from me, as if I'm some kind of insane head case...  
  
I am acting like one after all. What else is he supposed to think about me? I take a few calming breaths and apologize.  
  
"Kai...tell me what's going on"  
"Nothing is Rei, I swear, I'm just a little tense, that man looked like my dad"  
"Kai..."  
"NO Rei, look just shut up!" I snap, afraid of what he was going to say, he was going to tell me that the man talking on the news is my father. But it's not true, no way on earth could it be true...  
  
My dad died...that image has scarred me for my whole bloody life, it has to be what happened...it just has to me.  
  
**_Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will, not heal, fear is how I fall, confusing what is real._**  
  
I walk out of the kitchen, storming past him and into the bathroom, locking the door and leaning against it, the mirror is directly opposite me, but, I can't see it, it just a window in my mind, slowly step up to it and look out, seeing the scene from all my nightmares. I seem to zoom in on my fathers face as he picks up the gun, holding it to his head, that's when the memory fades, just leaving his face...I gently reach out to touch the image, but only feel the cold glass that should be there, then I find myself, just staring at my reflection. I back away and sit on the edge of the cold bath. Damn everything is so cold in here, it doesn't exactly help my mood.  
  
I close my eyes, trying to gather my thoughts. Why can I just let this pass...well that's a bit obvious...this man might be the man I thought was killed, years ago...What the hell would go through anyone's mind at this point in their life?  
  
_**Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me, distracting...reacting. Against my will I stand beside my own reflection, it's haunting how I can't seem...**_  
_**To find myself again, my walls are closing in, without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take, I've felt this way before, so insecure...**_  
  
OK! I've had enough, this has got to stop. I'm bigger than this! I have better control over myself than this, I haven't let anything else get this far under my skin for ages! I walk back into my room, grabbing a bag down from my cupboard. I'm going to find out, once and for all who this man is, and if he is my father.  
  
I should tell Rei, Tyson and Max where I'm going...but they'd only ask questions, so screw them. I start to head for the door when I feel a hand touch my shoulder,  
  
"I'm going with you"  
  
I smile slightly and nod, he didn't ask questions...he never does. He always accepts that I need to do something and he stays by my side. That's why I love him.  
  
He doesn't seem to scare about these scars that go deeper than skin, he just kisses them better and keeps me alive.  
  
_**Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will, not heal, fear is how I fall, confusing what is real**_  
  
"Come on Kai...let's go" Rei's gentle voice says as he takes me by the hand and pulls me out of the door and towards the bus outside. He's too prepared for stuff like this.  
  
As we get on the bus, can't help but wonder, is this trip a good thing...or a bad thing?

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So what didya think? Good? Shit? Or is anyone even gonna bother reading again eh?  
  
REVIEW DAMN U!!!!  
  
Phoenix147 


	3. Bring me to Life

Title: Past.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or the song 'Bring me back to life'  
  
Ok people. I am updating...but it takes a long time to find a damn song so if you wish to help me find music...so I can update sooner, e-mail me at 

Also you have to blame my computer for breaking down, and my boyfriend taking up my time, and for school coming round again so I have to prepare. Yeah well...I'll try updating asap from now on. Love you all.

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Rei's actually helping me...this isn't right, I know what his feelings are...but this is _my_ past, it has nothing to do with him.

But I can just watch him sleep while this damn bus takes us to the airport. It's bad enough that my dad could be alive, but he's bloody in England!

God, why did I let Rei pack my music, he only packed one CD...I may like Evanescence but by the end of this journey I'm going to want to burn the CD.

_How can you see into my eyes, like open doors, leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb._

I gently look over to Rei seeing him sleep quietly, like in a little cat nap, he's quite cute like that. But I still want to know why he's helping me. No one could or should help and heartless fool like me, I mean I made Max cry only five hours ago. I'm not exactly a nice person, so why does Rei love me...well I don't think it's love no one could love someone as cold as me.

I think it's the abbey that made me so emotionless, I'm not exactly the kindest person alive. I was taught not to be, power is the only thing that someone should care about, keep respect over your bit beasts and that's all the feeling you should feel...then only feel shame when you lose, but then...you should never lose.

Exactly what I was taught, exactly what I've always thought.

_Without a soul, my spirit sleeping someone cold, until you find it there and bring it back home..._

But ever since I met him I've been happier, less moody and more smiles have reached my lips, jokes actually seem funny now...instead of me laughing at everyone losing to the power of Dranzer, though I still find that funny but who wouldn't. I mean the little kids bursting into tears when their bit beasts fail to win, it's seriously funny...but Rei's been teaching me not to be like that anyway more. But it's really hard.

_wake me up inside, wake me up inside, call my name and save me from the dark  
bid my blood to run, before I come undone, save me from the nothing I've become._

**Reis' PoV.**

**I can hear Kai tapping his fingers against the chair arm, I hope he doesn't mind the music I packed for him. He looks so...worried...it's not right. I've always loved to turn around, in any situation, and see him smiling or calm, it's a great feeling to know that one of us knows everything is ok. I know it sounds weird but I'm glad that he's so calm, it's what made me love him, he's always calm, and so cold but I know he's warm on the inside, and I know I can melt the ice away then just hug his warmth. :sigh: I love him...I can't explain why. I just do.**

**I know he had a problem with :cough: stress. He used to cut himself...that's why he wears those arm shields, but he acts like it's nothing. He mutilated his arm...I have seen the scars when I accidentally walked in on him in the shower :blush: **

**I see his arm tense up slightly as we go under a tunnel in the bus, I hate seeing him upset, why is this man such a big deal?**

_Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me, breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life_

**Kai...no matter how this turns out, I hope you know I still care about you...**

Kais' PoV.

I can see Rei looking at me, I didn't notice that he'd woken up, but his eyes are now golden, like the sun when it's only just risen, I hope he stays like that, those eyes are beautiful, they remind me of a phoenix's flames when they are re born, pale and soft.

I feel so angry, we're closer to the air port than I'd like, and why the hell are we going here? I don't care about whether this guy is my father or not, I shouldn't leave this country, I shouldn't care about this man but I do I guess it's because I've spent most of my life thinking I only had my grandfather left in the world. Grr! :slam:

Rei's looking at me...ok so maybe it's because I just slammed my fist onto the window. Why wouldn't the god damn fucking thing break/. That would help, then the glass would be stuck in my skin...I'd feel less stressed if I saw blood.

_Wake me up inside, wake me up inside, call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run, before I come undone, save me from the nothing I've become, bring me to life_

This song is really starting to get to me now, I wanna throw this disk to the floor and watch it shatter. Shattering...shattering like my coldness, I'm actually starting to get emotional about this god damn discovery, GAH! This isn't fair, I've spent too long keeping cold to let this ONE tiny thing break all of it, it's not right and it isn't fair. What the hell am I saying life isn't fair I really cannot believe this. :takes a deep breath: I have to calm down again...I need to change the song to 'Hello'.

Wait...why am I shaking?...I'm shaking too much to press the button. FUCK THIS! Fuck emotions I don't get emotional. I'm Kai, everyone hates my sarcastic nature...I hate it too but still...

I have to walk around otherwise I'm going to snap...I'm truly going to snap. The bus isn't too long but walking up and down the aisle will do for now I guess. Rei's watching me with a confused look. Why can't be turn his eyes away from me, well from my eyes, he keeps locking his with mine every few steps. It's starting to make me want to...NO NO NO!

A cold person does not long for that. I don't want it...Not now! I do not need comforting, not now...now...ever...

_Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead_

**Kai's stopped pacing, he looking towards me...he's looking into his eyes. I can't keep my eyes from his. I didn't even notice him walking towards me and sitting down beside me, his hand placed on top of mine.**

_All this time I can't believe I couldn't see, kept in the dark but you were there in front of me_

Rei's eyes are so beautiful and his hands are so warm...no matter how cold it is outside he entire body is always warm...whether he feels it or not. His hair seems to out of place with his golden eyes. Why can't I stop staring at him. He's so perfect...

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems, got to open my eyes to everything_

**I smile slightly as Kai leans forward and I lean forward myself, making my lips touch his gently. I blush as he starts kissing me and I wrap my arms around him. Kai...I love you and I want you to smile like you used to do...I love you with my heart.**

_Without a thought without a voice without a soul_

His body is so warm, I don't care if I know he's sympathetic towards how I'm feeling. He's perfect, he's so...no words can describe him and I want him not to let go of me...

_Don't let me die here, there must be something more, bring me to life._

**Kai...we're at the airport...you have to stop kissing me...I won't let go of you...I won't let you fall...Kai please...if you don't stop I'm not going to let go of you...and we'll be stuck here until we die...Kai please...**

**I promise I'll help you through this...I promise.**

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And that is the third chapter finished. Geez that was like three days writing and thinking done in an hour...please can I have some reviews? Pretty please?

Btw...anyone who wants to work out the plot, go ahead. You really won't

Love ya'll. Bye

Phoenix147.


	4. Journey to the Past

Title: Past.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade...would you believe me if I said I did?

I do not own the song in this chapter...or any of the songs in this fic really...

To my reviewers:

I challenge thee to figure out the plot to this fic. Who ever figures it out will get a fic written by me especially for them or I will put them with anyone they wish as a couple. So...have fun guessing. :Bows and leaves:

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So...we're here...we're right outside of the hotel were my dad is staying...my Grandfather told me where it was and gave me a pass...he got a call from Tala who'd been told by Lee who'd been told by Emily who's been told by Kenny...yeah that damn computer nerd started a chain reaction that only took a few hours to get to my Grandfather.

Either way I have a way in...but I don't want to take it...I want to turn around and go and wait until the next flight home. Rei's standing there with me, holding my hand, it's kind of a good thing that he looks like a girl, no one is making comments about it.

_Heart don't fail me now , Courage don't desert me , Don't turn back now that we're here_

Rei holds my hand tighter and starts to walk to the building, making me follow, he walks across the road and flashes of my past flicker like a flame in my mind, the gunshot making me almost stop in the middle of the road, but Rei keeps me walking, muttering that it was going to be ok, trying to keep me happy. I can understand it but still.

I stop dead as we reach the hotel doors, unable to move a step forward.

"Kai?" Reis' voice sounds worried but I give no response so he tries pulling me forward, but I still don't move. "Kai, we have to go inside to see this man...remember what your Grandfather said...you should be..."

I hold up my hand to cut him off, "Shut up...please, I don't want to think about what my Grandfather said..."

He looks hurt slightly and then turns his look into stubbornness.

"Kai! You cannot chicken out now! Not after how long it took us to get here!" he snaps, I can't help but smirk, he looks so cute when he's pissy, "don't smirk like that! Now get into that hotel and give that key card to the receptionist. NOW!"

He moves behind me and shoves me forward, who knew he could get so stubborn.

_People always say, Life is full of choices, No one ever mentions fear, or how a road can seem so seems long, or how the world can seems so vast, on this journey to the past._

Each step takes me closer to the desk beside the stairs, but each step seems like a mile to me, what if this man _is_ my father? What's going to happen? Is he going to apologies? Act like a father for the rest of my life; give me and Rei a blessing when we get married...I've never had a father...how am I supposed to know how he's going to act.

I want to turn back...I have to...I just have to! : clenches fists: I'm closer to the desk now but I slow as the memory hits me again...the gunshot is louder...so loud...so...

"Hello can I help you young man?" I half jump, not realizing I was at the desk already. I slide the card onto to desk, not saying a word.

"Ah we got a call about you; I'll call him down if you wish..."

"No, I'll go up"  
"OK, I'll give him the call to say someone's going up"

I nod and head towards the elevator, pressing the button. It's taking too long...too long...

I turn as someone screams, having had a bell boy spill their drink over them...the water dripping off of her. I tense up...the blood...blood dripping down her body...The door to the elevator opens and I step inside, watching them close once more as I press the floor button. I lean against the side and close my eyes. Fuck this...

_Somewhere down this road, I know someone's waiting, Years of dreams just can't be wrong, Arms will open wide, I'll be safe and wanted, Finally home where I belong, I'm starting I'm learning fast, On this journey to the past _

I wish the doors would open, I'm sick of waiting...I want them to...I want to get out of this small room...why couldn't Rei come with me...I need help you foolish...

No...I cannot bitch at Rei just because I'm stressed. The doors open and I step out, taking a deep breath as I remember the number of the room where my dads' room is. I hate walking down corridors...I feel like I'm in a horror film and as soon as I knock on the door a monster is going to pop out...I think I should hit Tyson for buying those films...they're giving my brain weird ideas.

I'm getting closer and closer to the room. Why did he have to get one halfway down the hall? :sigh: oh well. I stand outside of the room and take the stance that I used to when being addressed by my Grandfather, my hands behind my back and my head half down so I could watch them through my eyelashes. I reach my hand up to knock. But I stop halfway. Do I want to do this? I was happy thinking he was dead...

Oh fuck, I'm just going to get this over with and walk away. I knock on the door loudly.

_One step at a time, One hope then another, Who knows where this road may go, Back to who I was, On to find my future, Things my heart still needs to know, Yes, let this be a sign, Let this road be mine, Let it lead me to my past, And bring me home, At Last._

The door swings open and I'm greeted with a woman half dressed, with long blonde hair, wearing a bathroom robe. With one glance I defiantly know that isn't my mother, but I look up. "Hello I'm looking for Mr. Hiwatari"

She giggled and turned back into the room and called a name. A man with blackish blue hair walked to the door, his eyes sliver but tinted crimson...He was taller than me, and was wearing a shirt and trousers, his fly undone. I met his gaze, a few more giggles coming from inside the room. If this is the right room...fucking hell.

"Hello? The desk called and told me some kid was coming to see me" he crossed his arms and leant against the doorframe. I could see about three women in there.

"Are you Mr. Hiwatari?" I ask, keeping a cold tone to my level voice.

"Yes, and who are you?" he asked, eyeing me up and down, as if suspecting me of something.

"My name is Kai Hiwatari," I pause and watch his half shocked look, "And if I am correct, I'm also your son"

He blinks, and mutters something in Russian, I only catch half of it. But I know he was cursing my presence.

"Look kid, you _might_ be my boy, but you have no proof so if ya don't mind, I'd like to get back to my previous enjoyment" he says cocking a thumb back to the sluts.

"So...finding your son alive isn't as important as getting laid?" I ask calmly, wanting to hit this man in the face, "Well then you are obviously not my father"

"Look, I'm not exactly awake enough to register this...how about we meet here" he says handing me a card with writing scrawled on to it. "I promise to answer questions and see if you are my son if you promise to just go for now...I've only got these women for an hour and I want to make the best of it" he smirked like some dirty old man and closed the door in my face.

I've traveled from Japan to see this man and he slams the door in my face to get fucked...I hope this man isn't my father, then I can pound his face to the ground.

I turn and head back outside only to greet Rei with a cold face...feeling like ice. He noticed this and growled, taking the note from my hand. "And hour...fine" he muttered. I didn't mean to make him angry...I just don't feel like being my warm self...not at this moment.

I'm sorry Rei...

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I hope people liked this? Well then I expect to see some guesses. Hehe.

Phoenix147.


	5. Disenchanted

Title: Past.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or this song.

a/n: It's taken my this long to find a stupid song...really people I need ya help...oh and do I have any decent guesses even though I found them all funny.

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Me and Rei are sitting in a little café; I'm not exactly looking forward to this meeting with this man.

He is NOT my father; it's as simple as that.

Rei's trying to get me to eat, but I still refuse...food is not what I need right now, I need to go get some music and some vodka, strong imperial vodka.

I need some space and Rei can't see that, even with his beautiful eyes.

_Disenchanted Lullaby, sing me yours I'll sing you mine, sing with me now what's a boy to do?_

_What's a boy to do?_

I take the small cookie Rei's insisting I eat, smiling as he claims he's broken me down. I love it when he jokes about, his eyes light up slightly when telling a joke. I love you Rei, and if these people weren't here I'd kiss you.  
  
But then again, I can't exactly say these words to him...not when there are people who know who I am here, I'd ruin my coldness, one of the only things to keep perverted guys away from me...unfortunately....girls like me for it. What do they think I am? A bishie?

I am not interested in those stupid blonde haired girls jumping up and down when they see me, with padded bras to try and impress me or Rei, him and Mariah put an end to those girls liking him so I get more attention...damn my childhood....dark mysterious past, always makes a girl fall in love.

I don't seem to notice that I'm staring at Rei until he says my name and I jump out of my inner rant. I blush softly and Rei gently holds my hand under the table, I smile at him, he knows what I want to say but I can't.

_Sing along for yesterday; Sing along my soul today, Sing along another song for you, what's a boy to do?_

I gently squeeze his hand in a thankful way.

"Don't worry Kai, in a few minutes you'll know about your past, doesn't that make you happy?" he asked softly, keeping his voice down. I freeze, why do I suddenly feel angry? I don't know but I can't stop it, I throw his hand off of mine and slam down the half eaten cookie.

"I'm supposed to be happy? You idiot!!!" I yell storming out, great now I look like a girl on PMS.

I kept storming off, my arms crossed, just looking cold, as usual, so I attract little attention.

I can hear people playing music, too bad it's all pop, and since I can see a park up ahead, I make that my target.

It's actually really weird to feel so calm on the inside and angry on the out, I can hear soft running footsteps, Rei's chasing me, I don't speed up at all though, I'll just....I don't know what I'll do when he grabs my arm and asks me to stop, asking what is wrong.

_I may be scattered, A little shattered, what does it matter, No one has a fit like I do_

He grabs my arm as I enter the park, he forces me to turn around, I'm looking, yet again into his eyes, god they are beautiful...I guess that's what made me love him. But that's not important; he is standing silent, holding onto my arm.

The silence is broken as he states something, "I know this is difficult for you, but don't take it out on me, I'm the only one on your side here Kai" his voice is low, yet sad. I have been treating him a bit colder since we got here.

I don't know what to say though, I open my mouth to get the words out, but I can only manage one, knowing it has the most power a word can.

"Sorry"

His expression changes to that of his usual one, a smile. I quickly lean forward and kiss him quickly, he smiles, no one had watched us, I'm glad that gates have walls.

Rei gently stroked my cheek before he walked more into the park. This is when I can tell him, only now.

He doesn't say a word to me, he only watches the trees. He's so weird sometimes.

_I may be scattered, a little shattered, what does it matter? No one has a fit like I do_

_I'm the only one that's fits you _

We sit under a tree, silently for a while; I place my arm around him gently, kissing his cheek, "You going to talk you daft neko?"

He hits my arm playfully, "Don't call me daft" he pouts. I smile and kiss him again, he pulls me closer, I gently rub his arms, still kissing him, I love the feel of his skin, it's got such a silky texture, he's softly playing with my hair, I wish he'd stop doing that, it really messes it up, but this is worth it.

He closes his eyes, kissing me more passionately, after a few minutes I pull away, he looks confused.

"What?" I ask, trying to sort out my hair.

"You pulled away" he said in a confused tone, I give a short laugh.

"I can kiss you any time I want. Don't forget, you're mine for life now Rei" I say, wrapping my arms around him, in a protective sort of way. If anyone saw me now, they'd think I'd gone insane; this is not like me at all. But then again, around Rei, I am never myself, I'm more happy when I can simply hug him.

He smiles and gently nuzzles my shoulder before he looks at his watch; I never actually noticed that he had a watch...how weird.

Anyway, he pokes my side and tells me that it's time for me to go.

_Whisper with me, pass the time, Whisper for the days gone by, Whisper with the voice inside of you_

I roll my eyes and stand up, letting go of him, but he clings onto me, "Don't let him upset you Kai" he whispers into my ear as he cuddles me, I feel quite shocked, and I finally put my arms around him also.

"I won't Rei, I promise" I whisper back, kissing his cheek gently. I feel so much like I'm protecting him now, it's too much of a warm feeling...as funny as they may sound. I dig into my pocket and hand him Dranzer.

"Look after her; I doubt I'll need her ok?"

He looks at my doubtfully, then closes his hand around her. "Yes Kai" he says kisses me again, as we begin to walk out of the park.

He leaves me as I head towards the building, stretching slightly.

I watch him walk away.

I dislike watching him walk away; it makes me feel all weird inside...like a fear that he won't come back.

_With this ring you will be mine, with this ring I'll multiply, with this ring surrendering to you._

_What's a boy to do_?

I look up at the building. Here goes.

_I may be scattered, A little shattered, what does it matter, No one has a fit like I do._

_I may be scattered, a little shattered, what does it matter? No one has a fit like I do_

_I'm the only one that's fits you._

* * *

There whatcha think now eh? Come on, take some guesses!!!

Bye for now.

Phoenix147


	6. Perfect

Title: Past.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or this song.

a/n: sorry folks, this is what was really happening! Ha thanks for playing, you have some lovely parting gifts.

Also I apologize, my comp crashed and I lost everything. So sorry here it is now.

* * *

I walked into the building and looked around seeing my father standing with his arms crossed.

The bastard even has my stance I thought bitterly as I walked over to the older man; the ass simply glanced at me and then started walking towards a room. I glanced around and blinked, we're in a posh café, and father was heading for a secret room, I simply have to follow.

In next room there was simply a table and a chair, both white, but the room was peach and pink, peach on the walls, pink tiles on the floor. I simply sat down across from the man, my own arms crossed and leaning back on the stupid chair.

"So, go on" I said simply and coldly. He looked at me coldly and sat down across from me. I waited for him to start, hoping he'd just bloody hurry up.

"Well Kai, you obviously want this over now right?" he asked, I glared even more; he took that as a yes and took a breath before beginning.

"When your mother had you, it was an unwanted shock, she was a simple slut and I...well I just didn't want children" he said with a shrug, "But my 'wife' had a heart of gold and said giving you up would just take a toll on your mind and you'd be angry and all that bullshit" he waved his hand to show it was of little explanation, "So I simply said I'd only keep you if you were going to help 'promote' our family" he laughed.

If I didn't want to hear the rest then I would have punched he laughter away.

_**Hey dad look at me think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan? **_

"But, still, we had to get you away from us, I mean, your mother was a slut who fucked a guy a night if it was slow and I just hated children so, simple thing was, kill ourselves off" he smiled widely.

"We hired a friend to get his gun and 'mug' us, then I would die and your mother would pretend to kill herself, luckily we found some of that acting blood" his laughing continued.

"We knew you'd run to your grandfather, and then, he'd teach you to be a great blader so, our plan was perfect, but, we didn't count on your _not_ repressing your memories, so really this is your fault" he smiled widely "Ok finished, now I can leave, you grew up as I wanted and now I wash my hands of you"

_**And do you think I'm wasting my time. Doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapprove all along **_

That's when I snapped, as he stood to leave, I shot up and walked over to him, grabbing him by his shoulders and forcing him down into his chair.

"NO! You are sitting and explaining everything!" I yelled, growling under my breath, "Why did you fuck around with someone **without protection** and then totally bail out on being a parent? Why did you think I would repress that memory? Why did you actually act like a parent before pretending to die? _WHY?"_

I yelled louder, clenching my fists tightly.

His face could have made anyone laugh, he was so shocked, and seemingly scared of me.

Then his face toughened.

"I fucked without protection because she said she was on the pill, ok? I prefer feeling the sluts on me ok?" he asked, crossing his arms again. I ignored the shudder of disgust that rose through me as he continued.

"I thought that bad memories got repressed in teen years, I'm so sorry" he said the last part with obvious sarcasm, "I acted like a parents so you'd think more about it"

I almost punched him...but something stopped me.

**_And now I try hard to make it, I just want to make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. Can't pretend that I'm all right and you can't change me..._**

He was my father, he gave it to my mom and got her to 'make' me...so it just stopped me from hurting him...then the worst part came into play, the fact that I was _like_ him in so many ways...it scared me...then, for some odd reason, it amused me as well.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked, confused.

"You're my father, so technically, I can come visit you whenever I want, I'll just track the sluts down," I smirked and then he glared.

"Ya know, if you leave me alone, I could let you have an hour with some sluts" he offered, obviously trying to get rid of me.

"No, sorry, I don't like girls" I replied "I'm already taken; my boyfriend's waiting for me outside" I almost wanted to hit him when I saw the look of disgust on his face.

"My son is gay?" he asked slowly.

"Yep, living in an abbey full of men and boys totally turned me" I said, over exaggerating it, to gross him out. His face seemed to tinge green. Oh it gets better, my dads a homophobe, how fucking great.

'**_Cuz we lost it all, nothing last forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect, now it's just too late and we can't go back, I'm sorry I can't be perfect _**

He looked me up and down "How are you gay!?" he asked, sounding like he'd turn hysterical.

"I don't like girls, it is that simple" I replied with a shrug while shoving my hands into my pockets, I was loving this, the man who wanted me out of his life was getting annoyed with my sexual decision, I wish he was dead.

This jerk...this _man_ ruined my mental world; I've spent most of my life in pain, thinking about that stupid moment when he _died_ causing my mom to die...I want him dead for real now.

**_I try not to think, about the pain I feel inside. Did you know you used to be my hero? All the days you spent with me, now seem so far away and it feels like you don't care anymore._**

I pulled my hands out of my pockets as he stood up and clenched my fists and growled deeply, "You aren't moving" I snapped, going to grab his shoulders again only to receive a punch in the nose, I moved back and growled in pain, blinking back the tears that had gathered, as I saw him running out, yelling curse words at me. I rush after him, only getting to the door a second after him, I push it open and run after him, I have the advantage, he's been fucking around for 16 years, I've been working out, I grab his shoulders and force him to face me and shove him into a wall.

"You're not going!" I shout into his face.

His right arm tenses, he's going to hit me, so I grab his wrist, growling deeply, "I'm not finished talking to you"

He glared at me but I kept my stone cold glare at him.

I'm suddenly aware of Rei's eyes on me, I don't let go of my father though I just slam him more into it and walk over to Rei and look him in the eyes. He nods softly and kisses my cheek before I turn to my father. "Here you go **dad** this is Rei, my boyfriend"

I watched in even more amusement, as he wanted looked Rei up and down, then my face fell as he smirked and walked up to Rei, putting his fingers under his chin and making him life his gaze to meet my dads.

"Well well well Kai, you found a pretty girl" he smirked, "Seriously, you almost fooled me with the male clothes, but she really is a cute girl"

I growled deeply and grabbed his hand pulling him away from Rei, "Don't you DARE touch my boyfriend" I hiss at him.

He blinks a few times "It's a girl Kai"

"No sir, I'm a man, really" Rei nodded and smiled, "I could show you my proof"

My dad suddenly jumped away, looking sickened, that's when I laugh out loud again.

**_And now I try hard to make it, I just want to make you proud, I'm never gonna be good enough for you. I can't stand another fight, and nothing's alright_**

Rei glared "Have you got something wrong with gays?" he asked stiffly, I smile and put my arm around Rei's waist.

"Yes, it's sickening, now if my _son_ has finishedI'm going to go back to my whores" my dad said, as he started to walk off.

**_'Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry, I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late and we can't go back, I'm sorry, I can't be perfect._**

That's when Rei moved, he bought up a sharp roundhouse kick and caught my dad in the back, I smiled and took Rei's clenched fist and held it, feeling it unclench and hold mine.

My dad walked off, holding his back and heading away cursing loudly at us; I looked to Rei and smiled widely, "Thanks"

"Not a problem" he replied kissing my cheek.

**_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said. Nothing's gonna make this right again. Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's hard, just to talk to you, but you don't understand._**

Rei looked at me, with a concerned glint in his golden eyes, it may have been an hour later, but I still felt hurt and a bit broken.

"Kai?" he said quietly but I shook my head.

"I'm going for a walk" I told him standing up from the tree we were leaning against, I was lucky to have Rei, but now, I just needed to be alone.

* * *

Hope it was worth the wait, if not I will so make it up to you.

Greenday fans will LOVE the next chapter.

Phoenix147


	7. Broken dreams

Tile: Past

Disclaimer: I do not own Green Day or Beyblade.

A/n: You Ravenstar the plot was unravelled, I'm surprised you didn't join in with the competition…didn't you want to be in my fic? How charming. TT

To everyone who hates Green Day, go suck on a lemon!

Oh this is just a short chapter.

* * *

**_I walk a lonely road, the only one I that have ever known don't know were it goes. But its home and I walk alone._**

I can't believe how much this effected me, I wish that asshole wasn't alive now, god, I'm what comes from a paid hour in an ally knee knocking, I feel disgusting.

How the hell should I be allowed to live, I'm a whore's son! I'm lower than filth.

Rei defiantly doesn't deserve me now.

I look up at the street lights, blinking a few times as I saw everything around me, couples walking around, kids running about, like nothing was ever wrong. Stupid children.

I kept walking, wondering where the hell I was going, I'm reminded of Green day's video for 'When I come around' I'm just walking around without any point what so ever, except I'm not being a nosey fucker.

_**I walk this empty street. On the Blvd. of broken dreams, were the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk alone.**_

Too many god damn people are awake, I wish they weren't, I'd much rather look anti social and get glared at by people. Living and walking like this makes it a lot worse. I wish they'd just go away. As funny to be as it sounds…when I die I should just listen to music and walk up and down a street alone.

**_I walk alone, I walk alone, I walk alone, I walk a..._**

I looked up as I reached the traffic lights, little kids pressing the button repeatedly while their mother tries to tell them to stop. I bet my mother was nice…even if she was a slut.

Maybe she just needed the money and whoring was all she could do, until I meet her I guess I'm always going to have this mental image of her.

**_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating; sometimes I wish someone out there will find me. 'Til then I walk alone_**

I wonder if Rei's worried by now, I mean, I would be worried if he was wandering around alone in a street I was unfamiliar with, if anything happened to him I'd kill myself, I'd defiantly have nothing to life for then.

I can't help but sigh as I watch little kids running about, care-free. I'm a bit jealous of them, and yet I also pity them, if it wasn't for my rough up bringing, I'd never have found or adored Rei, but if I had their lives I'd have a dad, a mom, maybe I'd care more about life instead of finding it just a game.

**_Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah _**

I'm walking down the line, that divides me somewhere in my mind. On the border line, of the edge and where I walk alone.

I can see the hotel at the end of the road, I'm half tempted to run as far as I can away from it, and yet, I want Rei to hold me tightly and I want to thank him for standing by me in this difficulty.

I hope he knows this…I bet he does. A smile lights up my face as I see him walking out of the front doors of it and I continue to walk, hoping to stop him before he walks away, heh, this is my fault.

**_Read between the lines, what's fucked up and everything's alright, check my vital signs  
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone. _**

I walk alone  
I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me, my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me, 'Til then I walk alone

I pause slightly, I see him spot me and yet and begin to turn away, if Rei could see the doubt and depression in my eyes he'd look away, he's used to the warmth I look to him with. He can't see me until I feel warmer and less like ice.

I can see him running towards me out of the corner of my eye. No Rei you can't see me…you can't…you just can't, I look awful.

He's catching up but I don't want to rush he may think I'm trying to get away from him, it may be what I'm doing but…

**_I walk this empty street, on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a... _**

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me, my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me, 'Til then I walk alone...

I grabs my arm and turns me to face him, asking me if I feel better, it takes me several moments to answer before I nod to slightly.

He smiles and kisses my cheek and I hug him tightly, smiling softly.

"I'm sorry I bought you here Rei" I mutter, only to have him cover my mouth laughing.

"Shut up Kai, I'm glad I came here" he tells me and begins to walk me back to the hotel.

He wrapped his arms around me as we got to the room, kissing me passionately and running his fingers through my hair, I gently pulling the tie from his hair, letting it flow down, long and beautiful, just like him. As we pull away I softly smile to him.

"I love you Rei…I always will" I tell him quietly, before he kisses me again, in a way that tells me he feels the same way.

I gently push him down onto the bed still kissing him, my fingers running through his hair softly.

We'll be leaving tomorrow, at least we can spend one nice moment here.

* * *

There because it's near Christmas, a treat for you all, no cliff-hanger, as I had planned.

I'll probs do a Christmas one-shot of lots of fics. Send me your requests please.

Phoenix147.


	8. The End

Tile: Past

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade.

A/n: It happened again…no reviews…oh well. Last Chapter peoples…

* * *

Every time I look back on that day, it makes me wonder how I got from that…to this, from a /kid/ to a man with a child.

It's been a few years now, Tyson and Max have been in contact with me and Rei for the better part of this year, mainly to see if we were coping with our adopted child.

When we got back…me and Rei had a few words about families and decided upon it…our little girl is great, how we got her, not so great.

Some woman left her with Mariah; of course Mariah couldn't keep a cat let alone a child. Hehe how I love my silent jokes. For the moment Rei's taken her to the shops, I'm stuck with the job of searching for a secondary school for her to go to, oh joy.

I sigh and look at the clock, two hours until I have to start dinner for Rei, he knows I can't cook, I'll only burn the food, but how the hell could I say no to those perfect golden eyes.

I sighed as I looked towards the pile of leaflets for the schools, with a glance I know none of them are ones I'll approve of, but Rei…he wants her in a public school, not a private one…that's where she belongs but I have no say in this, not this time…and if I tried to…well…Rei would get the upper hand. I smirk as I think about it and begin to look though the leaflets, this school is too pathetic, this one doesn't have decent education, this one has too many Math's teachers and not enough English…hmmm was I always this picky?

I sighed and placed them all down, about to go get a bag to put it all in, no point looking through this shit, then I saw a leaflet, one that had a gold star on it…oh damn this means she's been through the booklets, I sighed and picked it up, looking boredly through it, ignoring everything but the education standards and teaching staff.

Ugh this school was the worst! Why in the name of all that is good…Oh…I know why she chose this one. I spotted who was the Food Tech teacher, Oliver. Typical of him. Oh well, this school would do I guess, at least it had a few decent sounding teachers and only a few newbie's.

I put the leaflet down, Rei would approve if Oliver was in the school, hell knowing our luck he'll probably teach her to cook better than Rei. I hope.

I sighed, walking to the kitchen, smiling to the photo on the wall, Rei, me and Raeka, she looked a lot like me…or so everyone says. Her hair is light blue and red down the back, but we're unsure of how she got it that way, her skin is very pale like Rei's and her eyes are a light grey, her name means beauty and it fits her very well.

I smiled going to the oven and beginning to preheat the oven, wondering why we were having this weird sausage dish that Max had told us about, but it didn't bother me, well the name did. What in hell is toad in the hole anyway? It sounds like a sex position to me…

Either way, Raeka likes it apparently so she can have it. I sighed, hoping Rei would be home soon, I miss him quite a lot now, next time, I'm going to the shops with them.

Moments later I hear the door opening; and the happy shout from my daughter reaching my ears. "Dad we're home!!!" I smiled and walked out of the kitchen, just in time to be hugged by her, Rei walking behind her, smiling brightly, two bags of shopping in each hand, obviously she'd run ahead because he was out of breath.

I smiled and hugged Raeka back, kissing her forehead, having to bend down to do so, ruffling her hair before kissing Rei's cheek, ignoring the childish giggle that was let out before she rushed to her room, allowing me to be free to kiss my little kitty's lips, not letting him pull away until he walked past, to begin making dinner.

I smiled.

Hell yes this was a short ending and hell yes it leaves the story open but ya know what. I don't give a fuck.

Because the stories never over…is it?

* * *

Well Kai really said it all right?

I'm going to thank you all. This is the first checkpoint to my fanfic career ending, yup I'm soon hanging up my keyboard and moving on to proper fiction, I just have a checklist of fics I want to do/finish first.

Thanks people.

Love you all.

Phoenix147.


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